Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
