Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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