And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize