note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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