So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
