We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
