I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
