Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
