As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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