This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
