I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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