Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
