dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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