I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
