So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
