she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
