If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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