VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've blown a few things in my day
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
