I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
