did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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