i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
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You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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