We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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