I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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