My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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