Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
this hospital has no fireball
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
