Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
