Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
