yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
