tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I want her autograph on my taint
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
