Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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