Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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