it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
