Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
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i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
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Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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