i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I cockslap morals
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
