A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
