hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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