Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
