Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
