I can text with my tongue
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
