No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
