Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
