you would pick up someone in the library
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize