Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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