i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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