I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
