I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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