If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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