The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
