Whatcha textin bout Willis?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
