Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.