We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.