I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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