It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
