I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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