Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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