Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it glows. i had to have it.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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