God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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