Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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