so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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